"He who hates correction is stupid!" Prov 12:1.

"Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you. Rebuke a wise man and he will love you." Prov 9:8-9

"He who ignores correction despises himself." Prov 15:32

l withdrawal -- By retreating into himself or giving off the "silent treatment," an individual will attempt to punish and manipulate the confronter with guilt. Sulking and pouting are plain attempts to manipulate others and can serve to change the direction of a conversation.

l charm -- Some resort to playing up their "attractiveness" to soften their confronter's anger or intensity. This may include premeditated actions such as enhancing one's appearance, ie: clothes, hair, cologne, etc., or by well-timed expressions of affection, acting "sexy," or prolonged "meaningful" eye contact, etc.

l whining -- Many people learn to manipulate others by drawing them in emotionally with stories about their difficult life. What sounds like a sob-story of pain and misfortune to a compassionate listener, can be nothing more than a disguised appeal for pity. Someone who has mastered this method of manipulation can cause a confronter to soften up on his confrontation or keep the subject away from the real issues.

l emotional outbursts -- By an intense outburst of crying a skilled manipulator can redirect a conversation in 2 ways:

l departure -- In an attempt to play on the confronter's insecurities and fear of hurting the emotionally fragile, they will suddenly storm out of a conversation or counseling appointment. They are playing the games, "If you really love me you will follow," or possibly, "You've really done it now -- I'm hurt!" If successful, they can actually evoke an apology from the confronter.

l intimidation -- By blowing up into a rage they sometimes can unnerve and distract the confronter. Their intensely displayed emotion can redirect the attention back to a confronter by challenging their security and confidence. An unwary confronter who becomes the target of the listener's sudden rage, may fear the loss of the listener's approval, and therefore compromise the exercise of their authority. A rage may also intimidate those who simply dislike conflict or those who mistakenly think they have pushed the listener to the point of exasperation. Angry responses can be especially effective when mixed with profanity and accusation. Those expert at this technique are quick to use guilt projections like, "You're judging me!"

l patronization -- Because some people hate tension or conflict they become agreeable to everything said by the confronter. Although they don't believe what they are agreeing to, they are accommodating to appease the confronter, thereby diffusing the tension, and bringing to a close the time of confrontation. However, they often leave angry and feeling unjustly accused or manipulated.

l false humility -- In the midst of confrontation they might acknowledge their guilt, but overstate it with the intent of evoking compassion and mercy in the confronter. Their self depreciation may even cause the confronter to minimize their sin, saying something like, "Don't be so hard on yourself. You're not that bad."

l accusation -- Employing "guilt projection," he will find fault with his confronters. If he can get them on the defensive by pointing out their failures he will take the heat off himself and focus the attention on them. His attack may be personal or simply unrelated accusations. He may try to make the confronter feel guilty for hurting his feelings, or criticize his method of confrontation. When this technique is employed successfully, not only does the subject get changed, but an apology from the confronter is evoked as well.

l flattery -- As a "charm" technique, he will stroke the confronter with the intent of getting them more concerned about themselves than him. This buttering up of their ego may also cause them to soften up on him since he has now made them feel good about themselves.

l embarrassment -- By making a scene in a public place many successfully change the focus of a conversation. This is commonly done with an emotional outburst involving anger, profanity, crying, or a raised voice.

l division -- "Divide and conquer" is the concept behind this one. When confronted by 2 people, if an individual can play one person against the other he can divert their attention to a power struggle between them, thereby potentially weakening the discipline he faces. The listener may also distract the confronter by sowing seeds of division (a well-timed word of gossip or hear-say) between the confronter and someone not present, ie: "Well, now I understand what your wife means when she says such & such about you."

l diversion -- This involves a simple diversion to a completely unrelated subject -- accomplished by either bringing up a new subject or by asking an unrelated question. This can even include intentionally misinterpreting something which has been said and going into great detail addressing an unrelated topic.

l false confession -- When the confronter is probing too closely to the root cause of someone's personal problems, they may make a false confession. By acknowledging an unrelated or more socially acceptable sin than the one they know they are actually guilty of, they keep the confronter off track, and can continue in their ways. Their confession may even impress others as humility.

l Sickness -- Some people find such solace in the tolerance shown them during an illness that they convince themselves that they are sick most of the time. If their families or others do not sufficiently exempt them from their responsibilities, then they wallow in self pity, believing that they are being unfairly treated. Rather than focus on their responsibility as presented by a confronter, they focus on the "hurt" caused by those who demand too much of them. People like this are often consumed with bitterness and fall victim to one psychosomatic disorder after another.

l Fatigue, hunger, hormones, and irritability -- Many people justify certain misbehavior when they deem themselves physically exhausted or emotionally distressed. They think that their "condition" exempts them from complete godliness, so refuse to listen to correction.

l Injury -- We properly respond with compassion and expect less "action" from those beset by an injury. Many people however, learn to make the most of injuries, no matter how minor, to gain exemption from their responsibilities in life. This ploy is especially effective for someone seeking to escape accountability for their part in a conflict with another.

l Emotional Injury -- In the way that those with physical injuries exempt themselves from physical activities, those who perceive themselves as victims of "emotional abuse" may exempt themselves from their roles and responsibilities, both spiritual and social. As real as the pain is from emotional wounds, none of Christ's followers are ever allowed to maintain anger or bitterness against their abusers -- bitterness and unforgiveness may never be excused with the phrase, "I'm just hurt." Anticipating his people would not be exempted from the physical and emotional abuse in this world, Christ commanded that we love, bless, and pray for those who abuse us. We are always called to love and forgive as Christ loved and forgave His enemies and abusers.

l Rejection -- Some people, because of social awkwardness, demonstrate a lack of social tact, or other offensive behavior, so encounter rejection even from fellow believers. Such rejection can fuel self-pity, which causes these individuals to exempt themselves from full responsibility for their actions -- they are too preoccupied with how others have failed to love them, thereby exempting themselves from their responsibility to LOVE. Many lonely people despise their condition, but become so accustomed to the exemption from responsibility it gives them, that they unconsciously pursue rejection. They actually are more comfortable with rejection because it is less stressful to endure than the effort required to maintain friendships. Those who are allowed to wallow in rejection and self pity, and are not required to take responsibility for themselves, will always lack social maturity and may eventually develop a subtle type of persecution complex.

l Shyness -- Though some people are more introverted than others, many learn to use their "shyness" as an excuse to be exempted from stressful social situations, ie: They withdraw and grow silent during a conflict, or refuse to apologize for a wrong they have done to another. Often they will inwardly brew, and even become afflicted with severe bitterness, because they refuse to respond appropriately to others. An individual may have a quiet personality, but shyness is no excuse for unwillingness to hear correction and obey God's commands. When faced with any unpleasant task each of us must die to ourselves and do what is right.

l Labels -- In this day of psychoanalysis -- personality disorders and temperament labels offer many convenient excuses for those wanting to exempt themselves from personal responsibility. They may hide behind buzzwords like "dysfunction," "codependent," or "victim" to excuse outright sin. As accurate as these words may be in describing someone's condition or behavior, God never exempts anyone from any of His commands because of some extenuating circumstances -- bitterness is never justifiable, revenge is never acceptable, and forgiveness can never be postponed or "worked through."