What she says

What a man hears through self-centered ears

What she actually means

An Empathetic Response

We need to talk.

I need to complain or criticize you. Time to put up your defenses.

I want you to understand my fears and stress, and show that you care.

What's on your heart, Baby? ...Wow, that must be really hard.

I’m having a bad day!

If you were a better husband or father my life wouldn’t be so hard!

Rescue me or feel for me, please!

Wow, that must be really hard. Is there someone I need to kill?

I'm not upset.

Of course I'm upset, and you’d better notice!

I’m in distress and I will feel secure and protected if you know why and express concern for my wellbeing.

I see your heart is in distress. How can I help?

I'm upset, but I'm not going to tell you why.

Of course I'm upset, and it's your fault. And if you don't know why, I won't tell you.

I’m hurt by you, but if I tell you how you've hurt me, it won't come from your heart and you'll just do it again.

My goal in life is to keep you safe and secure. I feel I've failed to do that. Tell me what I can do to put your heart at ease.

I want nothing for my birthday.

Don’t buy me a birthday gift.

Show me I am so valuable that you can’t stop yourself from buying a gift.

I bought you this for your birthday, because I couldn't stop myself.

Did you take out the kitchen trash?

You’re a loser! You don’t do basic things to take care of me.

I feel so feminine when you rescue me from looking at something so obnoxious.

No, I didn't. Son, take out the trash for you mother.

You’re never home!

Facts or accuracy aren’t important! You’re just bad!

I’m lonely and insecure when you’re not here, and I’m afraid you don’t want to be with me.

When I am not here and when my responsibilities keep me from you, I count the minutes before I can see you again.

I heard a noise!

Our family might be in peril!

I can’t sleep and don’t want to be awake by myself.

Poor baby, let me gently scratch your back to help you fall back asleep.

I'll be ready in a minute.

Find something to do. I’ll be a while.

I want to be ready in a minute.

You're worth the wait.

Does this make me look fat?

Tell me the truth. Does this make me look fat? Explain your answer in detail.

Reassure me that I’m attractive to you.

Baby, you're asking the wrong guy. You could wear a gunny sack and you'd take my breath away.

What are you thinking about?

Tell me whatever mundane thing is on your mind at this moment.

Tell me you’re thinking about me.

A this moment I'm thinking how blessed I am to have you.

Do you love me?

Say the words, “I love you.”

I am insecure and feel better when you do or say something to assure me of my value.

Simple words cannot express the depth of my love. Can't you see it in my eyes?

Do you think she is prettier than me?

Is she prettier than me? Tell me the truth and explain your answer in detail.

Say something to assure me that I am still attractive to you.

She's pretty, but she doesn't hold a candle to you. You hold me spellbound.

Would you remarry if I died?

Tell me your honest feelings. How soon would you start looking for my replacement?

Tell me that our love is so great that you could never even think about finding another woman to take my place.

My love for you is so great, there is no way anyone could take your place. I can't even imagine thinking about that.